The Lineup of Horror: NFL Players & Their Horror Movie Villain Comps

Michael Myers. Jason Voorhees. Pennywise. All names that incite fear in both the characters in the movies and movie-watchers alike. But each horror villain has a unique characteristic that sets them apart from the others; much like each NFL player has a unique skillset that separates them from others. So in the spirit of #spookyszn, away we go.

*disclaimer* this article was written on Friday, October 9th. Statistics do not reflect Week 5.

1. TY Hilton is Griffin (The Invisible Man)

The Invisible Man is one of the best movies of 2020 (partly because there haven't been any f*cking movies, but I digress), and partly because the level of suspense is immaculate. The Invisible Man is.. well.. invisible. Much like his movie counterpart, TY Hilton has been invisible in 2020.

We don't know when or if that will ever turn around, much like we had no idea what was going to happen in 2020's The Invisible Man. Oh and you can drop TY Hilton now.

2. Adrian Peterson is Michael Myers

I mean, when will this guy go away? You think he's dead and gone, and somehow he emerges for about 10 FPTS/G in a backfield consisting of two promising second-round picks. Of course, he needs some help to get there (in the form of Matt Patricia), much like Michael Myers needs Laurie Strode to be a shitty shot in the first Halloween film (1978). The gifts that keep on giving: Adrian Peterson and Michael Myers.

3. Adam Gase is Pennywise

Because he's a clown. Yes I recognize he's not a player. He's also not a coach. Clown.

4. Ronald Jones is Freddy Krueger

Boy, this could be for a lot of reasons - one being that he haunts my dreams. You all know by now that I'm a huge advocate for the young (younger than Ke'Shawn Vaughn if you didn't know) running back. What haunts my dreams is the fact that he'd be a certified top-12 back if Bruce Arians wasn't his coach.

But he can also be Freddy Krueger because he catches footballs as if he has knives attached to his fingertips, he burns your fantasy lineups quite often (much like Freddy was burnt to death as a child), and you have to feel for him - even if just a little bit.

You decide which reason fits your narrative best.

5. DJ Chark is the Shark from Jaws

Believe it or not, kids, but Jaws (1975) is considered a horror film. Aside from the not-too-subtle play on words here, DJ Chark is elite. Yes, I know I toss that word around a lot, but it's true with Chark. He currently ranks first in Defense-adjusted Yards Above Replacement and Defense-adjusted Value Over Average. Elite. The shark in Jaws is as elite as they come and probably the most dominant of the horror film villains. And no, the mayor is not the villain of Jaws.

6. Raheem Mostert is Chucky

He's a fast little shit.

7. Le'Veon Bell is Ghostface

Each season, we think Lev Bell is going to be someone. Each season, we find out that he is, in fact, not who we thought he was. Ghostface is portrayed by plenty of different characters throughout the years, but in the original Scream (1996), the twist is what gets you. Let's hope I'm wrong, but the twist is that in Pennywise's scheme, Lev Bell isn't a great football player.


Give me your best Halloween-themed player comp on Twitter (@FFBaldMan) and give me and @TheCutFFB a follow!

151 views0 comments